Finding Connection Beyond the Screen
The Chicago Radical Faerie community thrives when we come together in person. While there is no single right way to be a faerie, we are a physical community at our heart. Our online tools are helpful tools, but the real connection happens when we share space. For many in our community, especially those with neurodivergence, being together makes communication feel much more accessible. Without the filters of a screen, we can catch the small smiles and gentle tones that text doesn’t provide. Engaging in person allows us to see the full, beautiful nuance of one another in a way that chats will never convey.
As many Faeries know, digital spaces lack physical nuance, so it’s vital to recognize when a conversation starts to go sideways and find new ways to approach those challenging moments. It is a common trap to think that one more message or voice memo will finally make everything clear – but in reality this often causes problems to spiral. When you feel that friction, a powerful way to love yourself, support the person you’re talking to, and create space for productive interactions, is to stop the digital thread entirely. Tell the other person you would like to move the discussion to a phone call or an in-person meeting, and then gently disengage. Even if they continue to reply in chat, hold true to your intention – wait until you can hear their voice, or see their face, before continuing the conversation. Problems that feel massive in a text box often dissolve when we can actually experience the humanity in one another.
Shared memories are the strongest foundation for our community. If large events feel like a lot for you, remember that you do not have to wait for an official gathering to connect. Meeting up for a coffee or a quiet walk is a wonderful way to get to know the people behind the screen names without the pressure of a big crowd. Many of our most active members choose to stay out of the chat rooms entirely because they find more joy and clarity in physical gatherings. If the digital noise feels like a burden, remember that those spaces are not a requirement to be a Chicago faerie. Leaving the online spaces to focus solely on IRL experiences might just be one of the most wonderful gifts you can give to your mental health.